California Training

This weekend, Rosie, Lily, and I are going to California! The reason we are going is because we were invited to attend a training to allow us to learn more about the Spiritual Empowerment Programs (SEP) that we plan to start here. It is a great way to educate ourselves more in the things needed to be done for the SEPs. Also, I am excited to go back to all of my friends in California. I met these youth just this summer and now, I see that as family. They are incredibly powerful with all their positive energy and pure hearts. I can't wait to introduce Lily and Rosie to them.

I am a little worried how Lily is going to take this weekend. She hasn't been going out with us, so she'll be new to everything. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or left out because this weekend is intended for Baha'is. Lily is also not very religious, but has her beliefs. I'm happy she is coming because Lily really needs a weekend away from her life here. She needs to meet new people and start to having other views towards life. I hope this brings joy and light into her heart, like it did for me over the summer. Then, there is Rosie. She really enjoys being only with her other friends and not socializing with anyone else outside that group. She claims to be shy, but whenever I have introduced her to someone new, she automatically shows her natural personality, the one I see every day. I think she just doesn't like the idea of emitting new people because that worries her. I'm hoping for the best because this is the first road trip alone with my best friends! 

Incredible Experience

Yesterday was amazing! 

I went out with Wendy and Rosie to continue with our service project for the junior youth. The girl we were suppose to meet with bailed last minute and went with her friend. We didn't have anything to do. Luckily, Rosie invited her friend Ana, so we continued, looking for kids for our program. At first, it felt like a loss.  No one was out and and some truly didn't care about the service project we were about it start. That didn't discourage us, just brought us down a bit. It was starting to get dark so we headed back to the car. We decided to ralktoone more family before we went.

As we got closer, I realized that I knew one of the girls. She was Maria's cousin, Claudia. I had met her three years ago when I went to Mexico to see Maria. It was incredible! She had moved here for her education. She didn't understand English at all, so she was reading books and taking different classes. We also met Maria's other family, and it just felt so right. We were all very comfortable and just having conversations, but still focusing on our goal: starting a spiritual empowerment program. Everyone was accepting and loved the concept of the program. They wanted to join! What a small world this is. I'm so happy that we talked to them.

Scores

Lying comes with consequences. I have heard that saying so many times from my parents, friends, and television. Honestly, I wish that everyone would be honest to each other, but in a way where  honesty wouldn't hurt other people's feelings. It would be marvelous for the hearts of the entire human race to be filled with so much love for every individual that acts of darkness wouldn't exist. That would be a wonderful, and possibly, perfect world to live in. Going back to my first thought, lying is a terrible deed. From personal experience, it brings pain to you and the ones you love the most. It's an unnessary act that puts you further from God. For example, last Friday, I went to sushi for Victoria's 18th birthday. We were all sitting at the bar, enjoying our sushi, when the person next to me started a conversation with us. At first, we didn't mind and it was nice to meet someone new, but it became a bit uncomfortable to answer the personal questions he was asking us. On stead of telling the truth, I told him lies. I didn't think much of it then. I mostly thought it was funny and so did everyone else. in the end, he asked me to be friends with him on Facebook, and I didn't want to be rude so I said yes. All the lies that I had told him would be discovered once we were friends. I felt horrible saying those lies to him, so much so that I wished to take it all back. Even though I didn't know that guy well, I still didn't want to be judged by him or lose his trust. I'm slowly starting to see that even the little lies can go a long way. 

Truthfulness and honesty are the virtues I still need to accomplish fully.

JYSEP

Today was such an incredible experience.  I took a step towards starting my own Junior Youth Spirital Empowerment Program!! Many people don't know what it is, but they are truly missing out! This program is about bringing 11-14 year olds together and teaching them about values, morals, and good deeds to make this world a better place while learning more about themselves.

Honestly, I was hesitant about going and even hoped that the weather would start acting up again just so my plans would change, but it didn't. Today is actually the first day after two days of gloomy and dark weather. It felt like it was God's doing by cleaning up the weather today for my adventures. 

It was truly special. I went with two friends who were a great help. The first minute out of the car, my oldest friend, Wendy, had already gone up to a girl to tell her about our program and plans. To my surprise, the girl was very interested and wanted to join! What a delight to hear. She when called me tonight saying I hope to see you again to start classes and learn more. It touched all of our hearts to see a junior youth so responsive to our quest. For this to happen, it gives me hope about the future good deeds I can do for my younger peers.

The best part of today was finding kids my age that wanted to so something about the negativity in the world. These boys were so interested that it inspired me to continue on this journey, and not give up when a junior youth rejects you. Now I am motivated by the words of acceptance from these junior youth and youth to continue to reach out to other kids to make an incident like Sparks Middle School never to happen again.

Self Act

It seems so surreal. Everyday goes by in a flash. Days can be counted in seconds. My English teacher wasn't kidding when he said that this year would be going by pretty fast. Everything is hitting me hard in the face. There are scholarships to be applied for, standardized tests to take, senior pictures to take, and cap & gowns to be bought. The pressure to accomplish every task makes waking up each morning more difficult, but there is one thing that keeps me going, and that is knowing this is the last year of high school. 

This will be the last year of having my class schedule picked for me. Fortunately for me, next year won't consist of college. I'm taking the year off! It will not be a year wasted on relaxing and not doing anything, but a year to learn more about the world and find myself. After high school, I'm going to participate in a year of service. This will be through the Baha'i faith, a religion that believes in the oneness of humanity and all religions. It is truly an experience many wish to take, but only a few have the ability to experience. I will be staying in Israel for a year, living a dream and serving my faith.  I will be leaving Reno, leaving Nevada, leaving America! I'm ecstatic about experiencing different cultures. FREEDOM!!! I can taste it.

To be or not to be

Since this is the most famous Soliloquy of Hamlet, it is a bit intimidating trying to analyze it because so many others have done a better job. What I first picked up from this soliloquy was that it was about death, more specifically suicide. Hamlet is contemplating whether to take his own life or not. Before, I assumed he was depressed through the entire soliloquy and just wish "to sleep." As I began to translate, I saw that there were a few problems. One of the problems was the fear of what will be waiting for him in the afterlife. This is shown when Hamlet says, "...but the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country...makes us rather bear those ills we have, than to fly others that we know not of." It is clear that he wishes to end his life, but cannot be sure of what will welcome him in the next world. He rather live in the hell he is living now, than to entire an unknown world. There is also the problem of getting revenge for his father's death, which means his life cannot end until that task is accomplished. Hamlet says, "For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time, the oppressor's wrong..." This addresses his uncle and how his deed of killing his father will not be forgotten. 

Stressors

In this time of the year, I am feeling a great deal of stress. There is so much on my mind that I only care to do a little. I have come to a conclusion that I fear to grow up. For so long, I put off looking at colleges and finding a college that suits me. Ever since I was in elementary, I have had this immense pressure put on me to become successful and really do something with my life. Well, this pressure is definitely grown to be a huge weight of worry on the back of my head. I feel like there is so much to do, but little time to do it. Giviing up would be less difficult than actually reaching my goals. Sometimes, I wish my record wasn't perfect, so that I had room to mess up, room to not care one day, room to not turn in my assignments because I didn't feel like doin them. Unfortunately, that is not who I am. In fact, it stresses me out even more if I didn't turn in an assignment or didn't study for a test or didn't follow instructions properly. I am feeling burnt out, but I won't show it. I have to keep my head high and continue looking at the goals I have planned for myself since the 1st grade.