Birthday

On top of all my studying, I have to plan a freaking birthday party for myself!! If there was ever a worse time to through a party, it would be the week of your child's finals. Another thing that sucks is that my birthday is so close to Christmas so everyone is going away for the holidays. I had to through it this early if I wanted the people closest to me to come. I'm excited for the dancing and food, especially my amazing birthday cake. I just do not enjoying doing everything for it and getting the clubhouse ready. My cousin is flying in tomorrow for my party and to be with me for the break. He happens to be one of my favorite family members, who is around my age. I love him deeply.

Tomorrow I have to get the balloons and order a bigger cake because too many people were invited. My parents and I have invited 60 people who have all confirmed to come. I am very happy about this conformation, but at the same time, it is overwhelming! Holy shit! Who thought everyone was going to show up! For goodness sakes, I'm only turning 18! 

All jokes aside, I'm glad my mom made me through this party because it allows me to be close to the people I love the most. I've invited my closest friends,which are Gloria, Rosie, Leandra, and the wonderful Gingerbutt. Maria won't be able to make it until a week or two later, so I'll miss her. One thing that hurts is that she forgot to wish me a happy birthday. She's my BFF and didn't even remember that yesterday was a special day to me. 

Finals

I am extremely tired and stressed from this semester. Honestly, it went by faster than I pictures. When Mr. Burge mentioned that this years would go by quickly, I didn't take his word seriously. All I could wish for is the return of the first month of school. Things were relaxed then, and the work was simple. Now it has become too complex that I feel over my head. Tomorrow, I have to take my AP English and AP Biology. These two classes are the lowest grades I have in all of my six classes. No pressure right? WRONG! I am not prepared. I don't thinking will ever be. With English, I don't feel too bad about but there is a lot of pressure because I'm at a 90%. I've been studying and JustFab insisted my thesis statement with the bullet points. I have the three books memorized as well as some of the rhetorical terms. All I'm nervous for are things that are going to come at me by surprise. I will never let something like this happen again!!

This is what I have been thinking about the last couple of weeks, my grades. AP Biology is freaking me out! I have an 84% in that class and don't think it will be going up to an A. I'm even worried about getting a C because I am not confident about the final at all! god, please help me pass these trials before I have a heart attack. The problem is that this teacher is horrible at grading and putting things into Infinite Campus. I don't know what my final grade is because not all of my work has been credited for! It's very frustrating and is truly pissing me off!

Frankenstein and his creation

I enjoy reading this book very much. From my previous reading, I found out that the creature and Frankenstein met again for the second time in the mountains. The imagery that was used to describe the beauty of nature as Victor went exploring was stupendous and vivid, but a bit too long for me. I liked how the nature was an asylum away from all the devastation that hit Victor in the face every morning he woke up.

I was blown away that Victor followed the creature to the cave and definitely thought that he was doomed from the beginning. The story that the creature shared was heart-warming and grave. The feelings that rose within were sadness, anxiety and hopefulness. This creature was born to a world where he knew nothing about living and had no one to depend on. It worried me to see how much pain he would go thorough in order to survive. 

As the creature was describing the little shack he had found by the cottagers, I was hoping for things to work out. In the back of my head, I worried that he would end up getting hurt once again. Even though Mary Shelley creates Victor Frankenstein as the protagonist, I believe he truly played the antagonist. Living his work behind was a reckless and hurtful thing to do, both for him and the creature.   

Future Plans

So much is going to happen in the next two months! 

First, there will be finals, which is the week I will dread the most.

Next is my birthday party, where a lot of people I don't know will be attending along with some of the people I'm closest to.

Then, I will be going skydiving!!!! Hopefully the next day we will hit the road. When I say "we," I mean anyone who wants to come with me... My best friends, my cousins, and other people that I know. 

I plan to see Hasan when I go to California because I truly miss him.

After, I will celebrate not celebrating Christmas with my family, which is more fun that you would imagine. Also, I have many great friends that invite me to spend Christmas with them to experience the traditional Christmas. Last year was with Connor, and I had fun with him and his kind family!

Next, I will be going to Salt Lake City with Rosie and Wendy. I'm also planning on inviting my 19 year old cousin because I think this will be a good experience for him. We will be meeting up with other youth to do an intensive Ruhi campaign along with celebrating New Year's Eve!

Then, I hope to start my job at The Body Shop, if they hire me. I LOVE THAT STORE SOO MUCH!!!! The manager wants me to bring in my resume for a potential position. 

After, we will be doing an intensive Ruhi campaign in Reno with Ashkan and other friends. I don't know how it's going to turn out because we have to find youth that are interested in participation in our program.

From then on, I assume I will return to school to finish the last year of my high school life.

Hasan

There is something special about this boy. I can't stop thinking about him. It's been two months since I broke it off with him, yet he is still on my mind. I miss him terribly because he is everything a girl could ever want and I messed that up. From the beginning, I had a connection with him that was more spiritual than anything else.

We met over the summer as we were both staying at the cabins at Tahoe with some other people. We were studying a book, when the topic of different countries came up. I told him how badly I wowed to visit Brazil and he had the same wish. We shared a lot with each other in those few days. I immediately began developing feelings for him,  but it didn't seem that he was at all interested in me as more than friends. As we became closer, he began to have a playful attitude with me, always teasing and messing with me. I assumed that he was leaning more towards friends than anything else. Sadness took those days, but still left me with great memories with him and everyone else.

His true feeling shined through when I moved to Davis for the summer.  He expressed how he slowly began liking me more than friends and thought that was completely unacceptable. Our age difference was one thing that bothered him. He was in college and at that time, I hadn't even begun my senior year. Our feelings for each other pushed everything aside and a relationship began. It was a summertime relationship that I never wished to end. He was so sweet and caring. From day one, he always put my needs before himself. He was a gentleman and a friend. He was respectful and loving. He was generous to all those around him. He put a smile on everyone's face with his jokes and pranks. He was perfect, and I loved being with him.

Things became different as I returned to Reno and he remained in California. Even though it was a short distance that separated us, things weren't the same. I think that's what made me push him away. At first, the break up did not affect me at all, and frankly, I was relieved of the relationship. Truthfully, I was scared of how close we were getting, and the thought of commitment was driving me in the opposite direction. After two months, thoughts of marriage were coming up, and I couldn't grasp my mind around that. With Hasan though, that marriage would have been amazing. Then the thought of him meeting my parents terrified me.

I saw him last month when Lily, Rosie and I went to California. He looked great. We both didn't know how to act around each other. It was awkward and horrible because it seemed like I had lost a best friend when the relationship ended. What was worse was seeing the girls flirting with him right in front of me. Our relationship was held in secret, so none of our friends knew. That's why they didn't hide anything in front of me when they confronted one of the girls about the relationship she had with Hasan. It sucked so much to hear and to feel that no one knew how I was feeling. Now, I'm not sure if they were exclusive of if she just had a crush on him, but I still didn't like it! 

Oddly, I can't tell how I feel. I can't tell him I want him back or if these feelings are caused because now he's unavailable. All I know is that I don't want to hurt him. He is too amazing. Our friendship has restarted since the last time we saw each other, and there is no way I am messing that up. 

Coming up...age of significance

My mother has been taking about my birthday party since last year, telling me about all the plans that she wishes to carry out. Honestly, I do not want the party she has in mind and would rather celebrate with close friends on the weekend and have a separate night for family friends and family. My mother is a very stubborn women who gets it her a way because she is usually right and only does things in the best of intentions. I trust her ability to plan a fantastic 18th birthday party, but my dad doesn't think so. He is against this whole big party idea. My mother turned me on her side, so now it is against two to one. Unfortunately, he doesn't really get a say anymore and has to follow through with the plan to make my mom and I happy. He truly is a kind man, while she is a hardworking woman. I love them both.

It is becoming more and more stressful as I am getting closer to the date. Part of me hates planning and getting the invitation cards, but part of me cannot wait to get all the people I love around me to celebrate a day that will allow me more freedom. In two weeks, I will be independent of my parents. This sounds scary, but sounds refreshing! I have planned for my cousins to come to Reno for my party, so that the next day, we can go to California for skydiving!!! I am so excited! This thought came to me a couple of months before, so I immediately began telling everyone I knew, showing me I couldn't back out because that would make me look like a chicken. 

Maria is flying from Mexico to Reno for December, so she will be here for both the special dates. Lily got a job just so she could pay for the expenses of the trip and the skydiving experience. It is expensive, around $300 to jump out of a plane. I think it is all worth it to share an experience with people I love and care for. This will be a great end of the year memory! 

Frankenstein

Frankenstein was a bit boring at the beginning, bit became more interesting as Victor made progress in his experiment. As Victor describes his creation, it is obvious that there are events that caused him to believe what he did was so horrible. He is always referring to what he made as a tradegy that never should have happened, that his pursuit towards the occupation he acquired was a fatal mistake. I thought that after the creating the monster, he would grow close to him as a father.  His reaction to Frankenstein completely threw me off guard. This is one of the parts of the book I do not like because it brings agony to my heart to think this newborn creature had to be alone instead of loved. I'm surprised that the monster would just disappear for two years, and suddenly show up because of William's death. 

When Victor and Frankenstein first interacted, Mary Shelley described the experience as non-hostile, the monster had a grin on its face and was reaching out to Victor. His reaction is what drove Frankenstein to run away. I believe that Frankenstein didn't go far and was always in Victor's shadow. That is why I think it is absolutely ridiculous that Frankenstein killed William. I think that it was just following Victor home because it didn't have anyone else to follow. At first, I truly believed that Justine murdered William, but now I am a bit confused. She continued to plead her innocence, and Mary Shelley continued to express in detail her innonence, so it seemed that Justine didn't do it.

The story truly becomes more intriguing as I read it. I can't wait to find out who the murder was. I also wonder if Victor is chasing the monster out of worry and care for him, or if he is chasing it because he assumes that it destroyed his life and his family. So many questions, but glad to read more because this book is so interesting!!

Being Sick

Being ill is not something I am use to. It completely is ruining my health, mood, and my life! I am so frustrated because now I'm always tired and do not have the energy to do anything else. My head hurts, my body aches, and my voice is disappearing. Could this nightmare get any worse?

I believe (well I'm going to blame this on my sickness) that I am falling behind my work because of all the lost energy. Now, I'm not just talking about my school work, but also the community service I have been doing. Going back, think I got sick from my trip to California. One of the youth was sick and he passed it on to other youth, who passed it onto me. Then, it didn't help being outside for hours every week in the freezing weather when I got back to Reno. I need to protect myself better by wearing layers of clothing, gloves, a scarf and hat. 

This nightmare becomes worse when I gave my flu to my best friend and my dad. It's been two weeks and my dad is as sick as the first day his symptoms showed up. Yesterday, he spent the whole day in bed, losing his voice and energy. It wasn't all my fault.. I believe raking the dead leaves a couple days before in the cold weather got him even more sick. Unfortunately, I still feel bad.

Amy best friend couldn't go to school for two days and needed up given it to her mother when she was taking care of her. This reminds me of Frankenstein, when Elizabeth was sick and passed it on to her aunt/mother. Well, she is still not feeling better and her mom got so bad that, I think, she had to call in sick to work. It's not only my friends and family getting sick, but everyone around me at school. Sickness needs to end!!

Energized

I have so much love for the world. I have so much love for humanity. I work to change the world so that everyone can live in peace. When I speak of these things I become energized and alive. I'm so glad to have been introduced to serving my community and making a difference. I didn't always think like this, before I was definitely self-centered and a bit selfish. I'm glad that time allows for change to happen and actually believe that I am different from even a couple months ago. I feel that people just think of me as a typical teenager who only cares about having a boyfriend and being popular and not thinking about anyone else. I'm going to pass that's the way I wanted to come out but no I want my image change. I don't want my teachers to think of me as that irresponsible kid who doesn't care much about doing her work and turning it in on time. I rub off everything I'm against and I don't understand why people don't see the real me. Could it be that they judge me on my image before I even speak? Or could it be of my past and what they've heard about me? This just pushes someone in the opposite direction because they think I'm something that I'm really not. I'm not some party animal, some wild child, some crazy addict. I'm a human being and I have feelings. I care about everyone even if I don't know them. even if they don't like me and especially those that are close and dear to me. I just wish the kids at school would get to know me so that we could all be friends instead of not really being comfortable to talk to everyone. 

I don't want to be the typical teenager. I want to be me. I want to stand out and I want people to introduce me and be proud of who they're introducing. It's time for judgment to be put away and for people to open their hearts to strangers because they'll never know what their missing if they never discover it in the first place. I can honestly say I'm happy, happy with my life and happy with the people that are in my life. I'm happy for my family and for my home. I'm happy for this amazing country that allows me to have a proper education. 

Now with pure, radiating thoughts running through my head, I want to make a difference... Not to be lazy and slack. I'm going to be a part of something. I'm so energized. I'm so excited to see what the future has in store for me!

Time to Breathe

October 11th, 2013

Break is a time of leisure, far away from school, classes, and schoolwork. It is a time when it's acceptable to go to sleep at 4 in the morning. and not expect to wake up at 6a.m. It is a time to spend the night at a friend's house on a weekday and not go back home for a couple days. Honestly, a break is good for everything, such as: from school, parents, society, and the world. It would be luxury to get away from everyone and everything for a length of time. Unfortunately, for me, that is not going to happen.

As of today, I have to go home and organize the papers that are all over my floor, desk, bathroom, bed, and closet. Once I let something get out of place, the entire room crashes into the disaster with it! Next, I need to catch up with Hamlet. I need to continue writing the summaries as well as doing the act analysis. I really enjoy Hamlet, even though I know there won't be a happy ending. I understand the text pretty well, but still have difficulties trying to figure out what is being said.

If I had to pick which of my classes was the hardest, I would have to go with Calculus. sometimes, I cannot wrap my head around what is trying to be worked out. It's like dealing with another language and looking at the paper, thinking how can i understand this! Just as you think you figured out the problem, there is another one ready to bring your spirit down. I like Mr. Judy. He is kind and understanding. He gives us days off with homework, which I really appreciate. If his class was easy for me, he would be my favorite teacher. Over the break, I am planning on reviewing some of the chapters that we went over to better understand the problems.

Next, I have to deal with Biology. I am so far behind with reading the textbook! I want to read it to better understand the class and have an A because Mrs. Vargo is a tough, non-lenient teacher. I like that some days and then hate it most days. She is a good teacher and I love her class. Every minute in her class enables me to learn something new. I just wish she would be more flexible with her rules and catch up with her grading! I'm planning on finishing all the chapter all the way to chapter 7.

Break here I come! <3

My best friend

You are Special

Flowers bloom and grow to bring beauty into the world

As had you from your mother's womb to bring joy to the hearts of others

Your love captivates all those around you 

You are tough
You are determined
You inspire me to follow my dreams and live life to the fullest
Without you, I wouldn't be where I am.

Gratitude for having you in my life
Gratitude for being able to hear your words of wisdom
Gratitude for being there for me in the worst of times
Gratitude for the times I can see you

Distance is what kills us, but drives us to hold onto our friendship even stronger.
Memories are what allow me to smile through a rough day
Just remembering us together makes me light up
You are my sister
You are my heart
You are my everything
I would give the world for you
I miss you

It's hard to go through the day being apart from you
Don't forget about me because I will always hold you close to my heart
Always be kind to others, as you would be kind to me

Look forward to the future
You and I
Don't you worry there my honey, we might not have any money
But we've got our love to pay the bill
Those days that are cold, I'll always be there to shelter you
I won't ever let you down. 

New Views of the World

Guatemala! What a beautiful country! Last year, I was fortunate enough to meet this amazing family who lives in Guatemala and comes to Reno once a year for a couple months to visit friends and family. They started in Guatemala by serving in the community with their business and just fell in love with the people so they stayed. Now, I am friends with their kids, Calvin, Devon, and Emily. We didn't get to know each other that well until this year. These kids are amazing, kind, caring, and compassionate! I become happier every time I see them! Calvin, when he was 16, started his own charity for the Guatemalan families so that they could have built in stoves in their house. He is too cool! He inspired me to begin serving and giving back to my community.

Tonight, I hung out with them and their church group. These guys are Mormons and every Tuesday, the youth get together and hang out. This time, we went to an area downtown, where we stated a bon fire and played volleyball. It was nice to see what they did with their church. It was pretty special. After some sports and food, they had a discussion of all the things they were thankful for. Everyone shared with such honesty and openness that it brought such love to the environment. I felt so comfortable with them and wanted to stay if i didn't have so much homework! Biology and English are a pain in my fun life.

They are leaving in two weeks and honestly, I'm going to miss them more than they are going to miss me. They agreed in taking me in for a year if I ever got to Guatemala.

California Training

This weekend, Rosie, Lily, and I are going to California! The reason we are going is because we were invited to attend a training to allow us to learn more about the Spiritual Empowerment Programs (SEP) that we plan to start here. It is a great way to educate ourselves more in the things needed to be done for the SEPs. Also, I am excited to go back to all of my friends in California. I met these youth just this summer and now, I see that as family. They are incredibly powerful with all their positive energy and pure hearts. I can't wait to introduce Lily and Rosie to them.

I am a little worried how Lily is going to take this weekend. She hasn't been going out with us, so she'll be new to everything. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or left out because this weekend is intended for Baha'is. Lily is also not very religious, but has her beliefs. I'm happy she is coming because Lily really needs a weekend away from her life here. She needs to meet new people and start to having other views towards life. I hope this brings joy and light into her heart, like it did for me over the summer. Then, there is Rosie. She really enjoys being only with her other friends and not socializing with anyone else outside that group. She claims to be shy, but whenever I have introduced her to someone new, she automatically shows her natural personality, the one I see every day. I think she just doesn't like the idea of emitting new people because that worries her. I'm hoping for the best because this is the first road trip alone with my best friends! 

Incredible Experience

Yesterday was amazing! 

I went out with Wendy and Rosie to continue with our service project for the junior youth. The girl we were suppose to meet with bailed last minute and went with her friend. We didn't have anything to do. Luckily, Rosie invited her friend Ana, so we continued, looking for kids for our program. At first, it felt like a loss.  No one was out and and some truly didn't care about the service project we were about it start. That didn't discourage us, just brought us down a bit. It was starting to get dark so we headed back to the car. We decided to ralktoone more family before we went.

As we got closer, I realized that I knew one of the girls. She was Maria's cousin, Claudia. I had met her three years ago when I went to Mexico to see Maria. It was incredible! She had moved here for her education. She didn't understand English at all, so she was reading books and taking different classes. We also met Maria's other family, and it just felt so right. We were all very comfortable and just having conversations, but still focusing on our goal: starting a spiritual empowerment program. Everyone was accepting and loved the concept of the program. They wanted to join! What a small world this is. I'm so happy that we talked to them.

Scores

Lying comes with consequences. I have heard that saying so many times from my parents, friends, and television. Honestly, I wish that everyone would be honest to each other, but in a way where  honesty wouldn't hurt other people's feelings. It would be marvelous for the hearts of the entire human race to be filled with so much love for every individual that acts of darkness wouldn't exist. That would be a wonderful, and possibly, perfect world to live in. Going back to my first thought, lying is a terrible deed. From personal experience, it brings pain to you and the ones you love the most. It's an unnessary act that puts you further from God. For example, last Friday, I went to sushi for Victoria's 18th birthday. We were all sitting at the bar, enjoying our sushi, when the person next to me started a conversation with us. At first, we didn't mind and it was nice to meet someone new, but it became a bit uncomfortable to answer the personal questions he was asking us. On stead of telling the truth, I told him lies. I didn't think much of it then. I mostly thought it was funny and so did everyone else. in the end, he asked me to be friends with him on Facebook, and I didn't want to be rude so I said yes. All the lies that I had told him would be discovered once we were friends. I felt horrible saying those lies to him, so much so that I wished to take it all back. Even though I didn't know that guy well, I still didn't want to be judged by him or lose his trust. I'm slowly starting to see that even the little lies can go a long way. 

Truthfulness and honesty are the virtues I still need to accomplish fully.

JYSEP

Today was such an incredible experience.  I took a step towards starting my own Junior Youth Spirital Empowerment Program!! Many people don't know what it is, but they are truly missing out! This program is about bringing 11-14 year olds together and teaching them about values, morals, and good deeds to make this world a better place while learning more about themselves.

Honestly, I was hesitant about going and even hoped that the weather would start acting up again just so my plans would change, but it didn't. Today is actually the first day after two days of gloomy and dark weather. It felt like it was God's doing by cleaning up the weather today for my adventures. 

It was truly special. I went with two friends who were a great help. The first minute out of the car, my oldest friend, Wendy, had already gone up to a girl to tell her about our program and plans. To my surprise, the girl was very interested and wanted to join! What a delight to hear. She when called me tonight saying I hope to see you again to start classes and learn more. It touched all of our hearts to see a junior youth so responsive to our quest. For this to happen, it gives me hope about the future good deeds I can do for my younger peers.

The best part of today was finding kids my age that wanted to so something about the negativity in the world. These boys were so interested that it inspired me to continue on this journey, and not give up when a junior youth rejects you. Now I am motivated by the words of acceptance from these junior youth and youth to continue to reach out to other kids to make an incident like Sparks Middle School never to happen again.

Self Act

It seems so surreal. Everyday goes by in a flash. Days can be counted in seconds. My English teacher wasn't kidding when he said that this year would be going by pretty fast. Everything is hitting me hard in the face. There are scholarships to be applied for, standardized tests to take, senior pictures to take, and cap & gowns to be bought. The pressure to accomplish every task makes waking up each morning more difficult, but there is one thing that keeps me going, and that is knowing this is the last year of high school. 

This will be the last year of having my class schedule picked for me. Fortunately for me, next year won't consist of college. I'm taking the year off! It will not be a year wasted on relaxing and not doing anything, but a year to learn more about the world and find myself. After high school, I'm going to participate in a year of service. This will be through the Baha'i faith, a religion that believes in the oneness of humanity and all religions. It is truly an experience many wish to take, but only a few have the ability to experience. I will be staying in Israel for a year, living a dream and serving my faith.  I will be leaving Reno, leaving Nevada, leaving America! I'm ecstatic about experiencing different cultures. FREEDOM!!! I can taste it.

To be or not to be

Since this is the most famous Soliloquy of Hamlet, it is a bit intimidating trying to analyze it because so many others have done a better job. What I first picked up from this soliloquy was that it was about death, more specifically suicide. Hamlet is contemplating whether to take his own life or not. Before, I assumed he was depressed through the entire soliloquy and just wish "to sleep." As I began to translate, I saw that there were a few problems. One of the problems was the fear of what will be waiting for him in the afterlife. This is shown when Hamlet says, "...but the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country...makes us rather bear those ills we have, than to fly others that we know not of." It is clear that he wishes to end his life, but cannot be sure of what will welcome him in the next world. He rather live in the hell he is living now, than to entire an unknown world. There is also the problem of getting revenge for his father's death, which means his life cannot end until that task is accomplished. Hamlet says, "For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time, the oppressor's wrong..." This addresses his uncle and how his deed of killing his father will not be forgotten. 

Stressors

In this time of the year, I am feeling a great deal of stress. There is so much on my mind that I only care to do a little. I have come to a conclusion that I fear to grow up. For so long, I put off looking at colleges and finding a college that suits me. Ever since I was in elementary, I have had this immense pressure put on me to become successful and really do something with my life. Well, this pressure is definitely grown to be a huge weight of worry on the back of my head. I feel like there is so much to do, but little time to do it. Giviing up would be less difficult than actually reaching my goals. Sometimes, I wish my record wasn't perfect, so that I had room to mess up, room to not care one day, room to not turn in my assignments because I didn't feel like doin them. Unfortunately, that is not who I am. In fact, it stresses me out even more if I didn't turn in an assignment or didn't study for a test or didn't follow instructions properly. I am feeling burnt out, but I won't show it. I have to keep my head high and continue looking at the goals I have planned for myself since the 1st grade.

Finding out the Truth- Act I

Hamlet does not think fondly of his stepfather/uncle/king. He wishes that he were not placed in charge to rule Denmark because he is making the country look foolish to other countries. Unfortunately, there is nothing to stop him... Or could there be?

I had a strong feeling that Claudius had something to do with King Hamlet's death and I was right. He was murdered by his own brother as he was laying asleep in the gardens of his castle! That is preposterous. Now seeking for revenge of his father'sdeath, Hamlet can finally put his mind at ease.

One line that really fascinated me "Taint not they mind, nor let thy soul contrive against thy mother aught. Leave her to heaven, and to those thorns that in her bosom lodge, to prick and sting her." This line is very powerful. It showed King Hamlet's deep love for the queen and how it made him want to take the blame off of her. He knows that she was driven into a relationship with his brother out of lust and that it could be understood. King Hamlet wants the queen to live in her mistakes and to take consideration of what she did wrong. He wants her to suffer based on. The choices she made and to come to her punishment on her own. 

Moist Star

I find Shakespeare to be very fascinating. Even though it can be extremely frustrating when I don't understand the text, I know that there is a message there, and I'm not trying hard enough to unveil it. 

This is my first time reading Hamlet, and I am already captivated by the writing. I feel that there is going to be a huge twist, that the deceased King of Denmark was killed by his brother or that the uncle did something to reach to the great heights of his brother. I am also a bit confused why the ghost of Hamlet's father has showed up. It could be because there is a message to give, either if it's something personal about the family, or it could be a warning visit.

Hamlet is a touching character. He is deeply hurt by his father's death and has yet ceased to mourn his death. His uncle tells him to stop mourning because a father is meant to die eventually, and it's natures doing for the life to end and a new one to begin. I love all the emotions being portrayed in Hamlet. It is relatable to how someone would feel if there father died. Hamlet definitely luminates this story and makes it interesting.

My Mistress' Eyes

This poem is brilliant. Shakespeare creates a spin to any love poem out there. He starts out by saying that his "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun," meaning that her eyes don't shine as bright as the sun. Most love poems create comparisons that magnifies the beauty of their lovers, but Shakespeare does the exact opposite. Then, he says that her breasts are dull and boring, which is not flattering at all. Also, there is the line that describes the color of roses and how alive they are, but that none of the colors are in his mistress' cheeks. All these lines that he compares his mistress to are very unflattering and negative. This is not your regular love poem that would win over a girls heart. It's one that would cause her to burn all his stuff and move away. That's why it is so fascinating to read something unique and truthful. In the end, Shakespeare does finishing by expressing his love for his mistress', a love to be as rare as any. This feels like a poem that is mocking love poems, but still compares to them.

Night/Morning- Robert Browning

As I began reading "Meeting at Night," I discovered that it was about lovers because in the last line, it said "Than the two hearts beating each to each." The meaning I got from this line is that these two people are united as one. There is something about the title that confuses me. If these two people are lovers, why are they only meeting at night? Then, I concluded that their relationship could be one kept secret from others. The evidence I found in the auditory imagery was "... a voice less found, through its joys and fears..." The auditory imagery in my head shows of the two lovers whisper from their fear of being caught.

"Parting at Morning" was a bit harder to understand because there isn't a lot of text to analyze. When I looked at these two poems together, I thought Robert Browning was talking about a one night stand because the poet doesn't explicitly state that the poem is about love. That is found through the imagery the poet uses to describe the lovers meeting. There is a great use of visual and auditory imagery that allows the reader to see and hear what the lovers see and hear.

College Essay

I just got done writing my college essay. I never thought this essay would mean so much to me. It describes the hardships that my family and I had to go through in order for me to have a proper education. My parents dropped everything they still had in Iran (before the government took it away from them) to move to America for a better life, a life where there would not be discrimination against a person because of their religion. Now I am not saying America is perfect itself, but it gives its citizens freedom. The citizens have the rights to do as they wish with their own life and practice the religions that THEY choose to believe in. It doesn't have a controlling government that can't see past their own ass because their head is so far up inside of it. 

This country opens up opportunities for its citizens that people of others countries wish for. I am fortunate enough to have these opportunities so that I can create a better life for myself. Luckily, I have not wasted too much of my time on materialistic things to be distracted from my real goal. That goal is to obtain as much knowledge I can in this world until my very last breath.

Hello Writing!

Writing has never been my best subject. Starting this blog is a very big step towards trying something new in order to improve my writing. I have to say, there is a great deal of pressure put on me when I know that my writing can be viewed by everyone around the world that has a blogger. Even though this is out of my comfort zone, I am excited to view the writings of others and gain more knowledge on improving my writing.

I hope this blogging system takes me out of my procrastination stage and allows me to have a routine so that I can post a blog at a specific time twice a week. I do not enjoy doing things last minute. It's stressful enough that it ruins my entire day to where I don't want to do anything with anyone. Also, I know as I submit my work last minute that it is not my best work. I know I could do better. What I am hoping on improving this year is my strength and mind in order to eliminate procrastination from my life... for good.

Starting today, time management will become my main priority because that will lead me to a successful future

Catch-22

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller left me in a perplexed state of mind. As I began reading the first fifty pages, I assumed that it would become more captivating, but my assumption did not turn out to be true. There would be moments within the novel that would attract my attention, but I would be lost again. The humor, such as the satire, is what allowed me to continue on reading with some interest. The novel was really funny. There were many parts that had me thinking, "What is going on?" One was Clevinger's trial and what a joke that was. It was hard to follow while I was cracking up reading it. Another moment of satire was Doc Daneeka's death, which was horrible to hear about, but hilarious to find out it wasn't true. The best moment of that incident was when he sent a letter to his wife saying he wasn't dead, but only to be contradicted by the army. And his wife believed the army!! I feel though that all these events have a meaning behind them... With Clevinger's trial, he only got charged because he was accused otherwise there was no evidence against him. With Doc Daneeka's death, it showed what families were going through in their lives as loved ones passed away.

I was able to understand more of the novel as my class and I went over it. I would like to re-read Catch-22 to fully grasp the meaning of the work as a whole.